Counterfeit - By Paul B. Peddie

Just as material things have reaped counterfeit, comparison in sight, never mind the cutback on quality... so has love manifested false truths, Ideal in looks, size, even shape, but the ingredients, the quality, never one in the same.

Our idea of Love manifested in some unfortunate ways, romantic novels, movies, quotes, Instagram stories and even Facebook posts. A few of the ways, so called made to entertain, shoved loved out our hearts and sent the counterfeit to our brain.

The counterfeit love mainly seeks to please self, what the other has to offer to your physical, mental or emotional wealth. It deals with ownership and possession, see I love you, but as long as you're here with me, if you leave, then you can no longer fulfil my need. And simple things make you tell yourself your love is true, of course you're gonna be concerned about the others health, they're no good to you unless they're ok themselves.

This counterfeit love bears only sour fruit, from the results to the children who learn these false truths. Anxiety and pain,  expectations and complaints, lauding an individual with empty compliments to fill the silence in your union, material possessions, monetary gifts used to fill the gaps for these knockoff relationships never truly fits.

If a gift is not given, then love can turn to hate, if a birthday is forgotten, if you purchase silk instead of satin. The counterfeit takes many forms, material monsters who crave tangibility, emotion leeches, who crave the compliments, reassurance in self, for they haven't found love within themselves. It turns a void to be filled by someone else, the person who contributes most gets chosen to be used, counterfeit love, selfish abuse.

If love is not manifested from within then you'll be without, and everyone has turned a minister of Love, expressing the qualities of this counterfeit to be true, without reasonable doubt. A marionette's love, one with strings attached, the person you once loved, the person you now hate, easy transition, counterfeit characteristic, no debate.

The idea that one man or woman can satisfy all your needs is selfish and unfair, trying to change somebody to give them your own flair, you don't love them for who they are, but rather who you think they can be, those expectations immediately break down your reality.

When you accept who and where you are, and know that you have the potential for growth, you give individuals that same respect, you expect nothing and appreciate more. The gifts no longer mean I love you, but is an extention of the love they bear.

No more jealousy and the clinginess it bears, true love births trust, acceptance, vulnerability, no lust. Find true love within, or you might forever be without, let's give real love a try, let's have a counterfeit drought.

By Paul B. Peddie
July 28, 2017.

Trail of Love - By Paul B. Peddie

Once upon a time, I thought falling in love was a sacred time, a time which you dear not miss for it might come just once in a lifetime.

And there I was, enjoying an experience that might've been my last, an experience which came to an abrupt end, as if it was something coming to past, as if this was ordained, for no matter my efforts, I couldn't mend that which I didn't break.

You must understand my shock, my unexplainable joy, but not to mention, my fear, when love came knocking once more. I hesitated, I speculated, I negotiated, I debated, for I needed to be sure. Love came once before, took me through summer's fields, sure there was plenty of sunshine, but sometimes the rain poured. You must understand my devastation, when it left me once more like it did before.

Third times a charm, if it ever comes around again I was sure, well... more like hoped for. Then my eyes met yours, and the process began, sure I was cautious, and worked with my experiences at hand, for I wished not to fall, but in love, this time stand.

Each of my loves came dressed with a different character, dressed with their own way of loving me and I liked each one, a different personality each, and at each points, that love was exactly what I wanted, a love I would've chosen forever, regardless of the imperfections that started.

Regardless of how different they were, I was happy respectively, and somehow realized, that isn't how love works, love is a cycle as this life itself is too, if it comes from within you, it will always find you. And as this cycle of love ends I anticipate the next, with the new vigor, the new adventures, the new kind of happiness.

I know not where I'll end up, but as the winds of life changes, I learned I have to fix my sail, for the destination is only hyped up by the journey. Sometimes there'll be no better experience than that of the trail, for sometimes the destination turns out to be nothing more than, the very end.

By Paul B. Peddie
June 9, 2017.

Goodbye Heart - By Paul B. Peddie

Oh heart of mine, who took you this time? Now I shall have to search, shall I look forward or do I look behind? Oh heart forgive me, I was blind again, I promise this won’t be a trend, I’ll protect you from today to the very end.

A heart like you doesn’t deserve to be treated this way, and I keep on telling them, but they do it anyway… I’m trying so hard to find someone who’ll treat you the way you deserve, but it’s so hard, because all they do is slowly drag you through the dirt.

It seems there’s no one who can love you like I do, I’m near giving up but you’ll be lonely if I do… It hurts so bad to see them mistreat you, yet it hurts as much to see you blue. If only I knew which hurt less then I’d just choose... Wait, what am I saying? You should never hurt! All you’ve done was to show love from the inside to others, yet they’d never truly return it to you.

Goodbye heart, words I don’t want to say! Heart please come back to me, don’t leave me like she did us, I’ll try my best this time, I’ll try to find someone who won’t leave us behind. Someone who’ll keep you close and treat you like their own, someone who’ll hold you close to their heart and never leave you alone.

Goodbye heart. No please don’t go! I hate the person I become whenever we don’t flow… Remember what happened last time, I don’t want to re-live those days, stay with me forever and I’ll never stop trying until I find that person with that love and care you crave.

Till death do us part, so how can we say goodbye, this sounds so familiar, don’t tell me I’m gonna cry... Heart you’re all I got, I need you to help me fight, for this battle of love seems to want my life…
 
Let’s try again heart, I’ll patch you all up again, let’s not say goodbye, lets start over, lets give love another chance my friend.

By Paul B. Peddie
August 11, 2010.

Innocent Encounter By Paul B. Peddie

A misty sky, the moon hung high, we lay tangled, just she and I. Her long silky hair, her pearly brown eyes, some of her features on which my eyes were fixed. The warmth of our bodies intertwined, we lay breathing steadily, looking in each other’s eyes.
The mood rises, our breathing escalates, we feel the chills no more, the warmth of our bodies sent the chills through the door… Her nipples harden pressed against my chest, she dares not utter a word, for her situation, her body already addressed, her eyes spoke, then her body said the rest.
With no further ado, I ran my fingers down her spine; I felt her shiver, her body cried. I climbed on top, and started by caressing her breasts, she seemed to like it so I continued, but I thought to myself, what next? My heart started beating fast, but slowly she spread her legs apart, now came the very important part, ensuring both our lives don't get torn apart, so I did it just like I saw on TV, I slid it on, so the love making could go on…
In I went, a feeling like none other I’ve felt, a feeling which made my heart melt. And soon my rhythm increased, the pleasure was rising so rapidly, I could feel the tingling in my feet, her moan increased, and her nails sank deep, but somewhat immune to the pain for the pleasure was all I could feel…
What came next, it’s hard to explain, it’s like the sun getting cooled by the pouring rain, its like falling on clouds, no hurt, no pain. Yet still her nails sank as she called out my name, then she shivered and shook and moaned with a very relief look, then I laid lifeless beside her as we both smiled with passion and satisfaction in our eyes.
I got dressed and escaped through her window before her parents could know, and when I got home, we talked endlessly on the phone… First encounter for both of us, but definitely not the last, for already we were making plans about never being apart.

By Paul B. Peddie
July 1, 2010.

The Veil - By Paul B. Peddie

A special day in my life draws forth, a day which on the sea of love I’m supposed to float. Fast approaches my wedding day, a day I longed for, until today…
The love we shared was like no other, I couldn’t wait to introduce you to my mother, we fought our way through our problems and won, all our problems, all but one.
The times we shared were far more than fun, and I dreamed of the day you would have my son…
I had our future planned out so perfect, but the times grew dark as we approached it. As I fix my tie while facing this mirror, there’s a smile on my face, but my eyes, they shiver.
I walk to the isle while recalling our memories, yet I feel I’m entering enemy territories, there’s a smile on my face, a smile genuine and true, a smile that only exists because I’m thinking of you.
I hear not one word the pastor speaks, in my hands, my legs, my heart I’m weak…  Unveiling your mask before I say “I do”… as if I didn’t know before, when I lift your veil, my heart seems to fail, oh tell me what, oh what should I do? Should I hurt this person and follow through? Oh how did I let it reach this far? Do I say “I do” from my mouth or should I speak from my heart?
All these questions came, after I removed the veil, all these questions came as I recalled my trail, oh what, oh what do I now do, since I’m sure my eyes don’t fail, what do I do now since right after I remove the veil, the person I now see  isn’t you...

By Paul B. Peddie
February 3, 2010

My Kryptonite - By Paul B. Peddie

I fly across the skies, fighting crimes and revealing lies, saving lives and renewing ties… I stop meteors from demolishing the earth and kill monsters that appear from the dirt. I save cats from falling from trees, stop forest fires and excessive heat… I fight mobs and bring them to justice, I stop thieves and send them to jail, community service, rehabilitate.

When my daily duties are done in the city, I come home to my kryptonite. She’s the one I love, but it seems like a constant fight, and even though it hurts when we’re together, I still run to her every cry. Even though I’m superman I still can’t see through her lies, its like I’m so deep in love that I’m blinded by her every groove. She’s the only one I can’t overcome, and even though being with her is like being hugged by the sun, somehow coming home to her is still somewhat fun.

Sometimes it feels like a dream, like I’m living a lie, I have to find the closet and rip my shirt open to see if I really see that big red S that’s supposed to be on my chest, for only superman in this much pain could still find happiness…

OK, so I’m not really superman, but she’s still my kryptonite, and during the days my daily duties really feels like a fight, and it does hurt but gives me joy when I get home at night… And even though her name is not Louis Lane, somehow I still love her just the same, and I’m always there at her every beckon call but for us to agree seems like it takes my energy, like it takes my all…

It’s like she’s where I get my strength but at the same time, the only thing I can’t overcome, that wall. She’s my energy but also my kryptonite, it seems nothing can help me now, not even if I looked in the mirror and really saw superman in my eyes, there’s nothing to ward-off my kryptonite.

By Paul B. Peddie
August 27, 2010.