Why does everything seem so complicated now, why does it seem like I now live trying to prove my worth? Running into a trail of broken hearts so I gotta be tearing down walls, walls of insecurities, walls of distrust, walls of fear, as a result of being hurt so much.
I was born of a different kind, of a different time, where emotions were easily expressed, where people never missed a chance at happiness. Now everything is bottled, caged, labeled as weak when it's expressed, yet everyone's out there seeking love, seeking happiness. No wonder all we find are lies, rivers to cry, facades of what we feel inside.
Spending your time, trying to show someone you're worth theirs, while they describe all you are as all they need, yet somehow look right through you running into the arms of everything they claim to be running from.
It's a thin line I have to trod, keeping my worth, while searching for what my soul thirsts. Vulnerability scares me sometimes, but I rather to feel, to know if it's real, which is why no matter the heartaches I discover, I still go on to search in my way, in the teachings of my kind, the teachings of my time.
I am a man, and somehow everyone forgot what that means, traveling with masks, bravados, as if everything is a battle, like they're always at war with everyone they meet. Ladies aren't ladies anymore, but somehow opposites of their once majestic selves, choosing competitiveness and placing self worth on the shelf.
I am not a part of this generation, I just live in it, I was born of a different kind, of a different time. I know my worth and I won't settle for less, I just wish it wasn't this hard finding that kind of happiness, for the rest is generated from within, but sometimes I yearn the love that a true Queen could bring.
By Paul B. Peddie
Jan. 23, 2018.
Jan. 23, 2018.
